Our Noble and Selfless Leader

People just gotta understand, see, my war is a noble cause. It's hard work over there. It's real hard work. Hard worky-work. An' it's hard work over here too. But guess what? I'm resolved. My will is strong 'cause I like to lead 'cause I'm a leader. Freedom is on the march! Folks just gotta git outta the way -- my way -- an' they gotta realize that I'm working hard an' there are serious consequences if they try to stop me, an' when I say serious consequences I mean serious consequences 'cause I'm a man who means what I say and who says what I mean no matter how hard the work is.

Hey -- did j'all know I flew over Iraq one time? Yeah, that was between the time we carpet-bombed the shopping mall and nuked that wedding party with DU...haw haw...talk about DU -- Do Unto others...get it? Whoop! Them buggers want WMD -- I'll give 'em WMD...Made them terriers sit up and take notice. Even from 30,000 feet, I could see we smoked 'em out and got 'em on the run. Anyway, after that happened, I told my pilot, "Hi-ho Paint -- let's git whar we ain't!" An' when we headed home to the good ol' USofA, I was resolved -- nosiree, we ain't turning back...

Er...any questions? ... Stretch?