SENATE GETS AN OIL CHANGE...

Where do you get "holy oil" these days? On E-Bay? WalMart? I didn't even know there was a demand for such an item in the 21st Century. But now, thanks to the right good reverend Rob Schenck, one of God's own evangelical Christians and president of Washington's National Clergy Council, the government machine needs an oil change in order to make the right decisions. Can't argue with that. Considering the "right" decisions this government has made in the last five years, it's gonna take jugs of the stuff.

Schenck and two other evangelical ministers -- the good Rev. Patrick Mahoney, director of the Christian Defense Coalition, and Grace Nwachukwu, general manager of a group called Faith and Action, were barred last week by Capitol Hill police from the hearing room where Judge Samuel Alito will face the Senate Judiciary Committee.

The three had already smeared the hearing room door when they were stopped short. However, they told the astonished fuzz that they had been in the room the day before and had "adequately" greased down seats where Alito, senators, witnesses, Senate staffers and the press will sit, and they prayed for each of the 13 committee members by name.

They're everywhere. Schenck, just one of many who talk to God, talk for God and give God homework assignments, said that God "certainly needs to be involved" in nomination hearings and He is interested in what goes on, especially because of abortion, public prayer, gay marriage and right-to-life issues topping public debate.

The ministers insisted they weren't taking sides, and they weren't pro-Alito. They added they had "blessed" the same room for Chief Justice John Roberts' hearings last year. And that hearing "went very well," Schenck said.

Some of us wondered why Roberts was so slick he slipped out of the grip of committee members right into the top slot on the Supreme Court without answering a single question.

Now we know.