DOCTOR DECIDER...

Great entry by Roddy McCorley of Daily Kos on April 18. It's one of those things that, when you see it, you immediately say, "Ma-a-a-a-n, I wish I'd written that!"

McCorley says, "Well, it took me awhile, but I finally realized what "I'm the decider" reminds me of. It sounds like something a character in a Dr. Seuss book might say.

"So with apologies to the late Mr. Geisel, here is some idle speculation as to what else such a character might say..."

I'm The Decider

By Roddy McCorley

I'm the decider.
I pick and I choose.
I pick among whats.
And choose among whos.

And as I decide
Each particular day
The things I decide on
All turn out that way.

I decided on Freedom
For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it,
I'm not looking back.

I decided on tax cuts
That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes
That aren't really healthy.

And parklands and wetlands
Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none
Would be more than enough!

I decided that schools
All in all are the best
The less that they teach
And the more that they test.

I decided those wages
You need to get by
Are much better spent
On some CEO guy.

I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe
Is terribly awful
And just has to go.

I decided that levees
Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They can come unimpeded.

That old Constitution?
Well, I have decided
As"just goddam paper"
It should be derided.

I've decided gay marriage
Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.

And Cheney and Rummy
And Condi all know
That I'm the Decider -
They tell me it's so.

I'm the Decider
So watch what you say
Or I may decide
To have you whisked away.

Or I'll tap your phones.
Your e-mail I'll read.
`cause I'm the Decider -
Like Jesus decreed.

Yes, I'm the Decider
The finest alive
And I'm nuking Iran.
Now watch this drive!

Now that I think about it, Dr. Seuss anticipated this administration pretty well when he wrote Yertle the Turtle...