GIVE THAT BOY A STANDING "YO!"

What is it about Kansas that makes people lose touch with reality and go flying off in all directions? In the current issue of Time, Mike Allen teams up with Michael Duffy, Karen Tumulty, Massimo Calabresi, and Matthew Cooper to give George Bush a rollicking standing "YO!" for his sterling performance at Kansas State University last week.

Under the blaring headline, "Losing the Script and Finding his Voice," Allen goes giddy on us right out of the chute -- applauding Bush's opinion of himself as a Lincolnesque president, a great leader who "did what he thought was right" unhindered by Constitutional constrictions. "That's how this President sees himself," Allen gushed, "and last week he began reminding us, selling himself with more vim and certitude than at any other time since he was re-elected 15 months ago."

Vim? Gee, isn't that special...Allen may see Bush as President Vim, but when I look at him, all I can see is Invader Zim...

Yes, Allen says, Bush "found his voice in an improbable place: at the center of what looked like a serious scandal...a White House-authorized program to tap calls coming into and going out of the U.S. without a warrant if they involved a suspected terrorist..."

Allen and his zany cohorts chose to discuss Bush's illegal and unconstitutional spying on American citizens in the past tense -- nothing more serious than "tapping" a few phones of "suspected" terrorists here and abroad. Allen pointed out that, actually, the "eavesdropping" controversy offered Bush a foothold to "return to the stage as Protector in Chief, the Republicans' award-winning role in the past two elections."

As they say down in Texas, "Yeah, Buddy..." If I remember correctly, Bush won the first election by a single vote, and stole the second election in the biggest vote-fraud scandal in the history of democracy.

These faux journalists obviously did not travel to Kansas for the transformation. They failed to note that, in spite of a wealth of photos, videos and reports proving otherwise, their Dear Leader flatly stated "we do not do torture. No American will be allowed to torture another human being anywhere in the world." They didn't mention that he flatly stated he did not know one of his most generous Pioneer campaign contributors who was also a member of his 2000 presidential transition team.

If you believe that, you don't know Jack...

Strange, since Bush insists he was "elected" to protect the American people and he's ready -- even eager -- to kill the rest of civilization to do it, Allen failed to note the many concerned questions about the rebuilding of Katrina-devastated New Orleans and the American people who are displaced, destroyed -- still missing. It seems that Bush isn't quite "comfortable" yet with how to proceed. "Those plans haven't -- the plan for Louisiana hasn't come forward yet," he said, "and I urge the officials, both state and city, to work together so we can get a sense for how they're going to proceed."

Say whut...?

Is it possible that Time's scribblers don't recall the better-late-than-never promise Bush made in New Orleans while standing "leaderly" in front of a blue chapel floating eerily in the background -- that help was not only on the way, but the government's reconstruction effort would be the greatest such response in the history of the universe? Can't say that's a lie, however, when you consider the corporate profits and frenzied land grab that's going on in the Big Easy...

Allen says Bush sounds sharp and feels better; he's looking ahead, and is on the campaign trail, "conscious of the 2009 finish line." He said Bush is reading "When Trumpets Call," about Teddy Roosevelt's life after the White House and, after calling Barney, the family dog, "the son I never had," Bush wound up by exhorting the students and thousands of soldiers held hostage for 90 minutes to -- "pray, exercise and be optimistic."

I'd swear the Time bunch consumed a jug of that famous Kansas KoolAid before they started writing this fluff piece if I didn't know better. If I hadn't also read the just released 78-page Information Operations Roadmap